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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25535320">The Pain of Being Dead</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/agrajag/pseuds/agrajag'>agrajag</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), Return of the Living Dead (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Crossover, M/M, Minor Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Minor Richie Tozier/Mike Hanlon, POV Alternating, Zombie Apocalypse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:56:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,886</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25535320</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/agrajag/pseuds/agrajag</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"Well, how about you Bill?" Richie asked [...] "You've been awfully quiet. Do </i>you<i> want to party?"</i></p><p>
  <i>"Well, I would love to guys, but I have to meet Stan after he gets off from work at his new job," Bill explained.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Oh no, he got a job?" Mike asked, frowning exaggeratedly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Yeah, what a dick," Richie said.</i>
</p><p>[...]</p><p>"[...] <i>Stan started this job at the medical supply warehouse across town and he isn't entirely comfortable about it, so I promised that I'd meet him after his shift."</i></p><p>[...]</p><p><i>"Wait!" Eddie yelled, stopping abruptly, causing Bev to walk straight into his back. "Why don't we all go pick up Stan with Bill?</i> [...] <i>[W]hy don't we all go pick up Stan? Stan always knows where there's a place to party."</i></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>a return of the living dead AU? crossover? a bit of both [shrugs] at the beginning it follows the movie closely but then devolves as it goes on so no knowledge of the movie is really necessary even though i use some of the characters from it</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Are we going to party tonight or what?" Eddie asked, not quite whining yet, but definitely on his way to full on pouting.</p>
<p>It was obvious to those who knew him, and Richie knew how to read Eddie like his favorite book. And as much as he loved how adorable Eddie looked when he pouted, he didn't love how it would ruin the night for all of them, so he echoed the sentiment in hopes that someone would provide an answer.</p>
<p>"Yeah, are we going to party?" he asked as he circled around Eddie, dangerously swinging the boombox he was carrying, and nearly hitting Eddie's calf.</p>
<p>Eddie pushed him away, and Richie stumbled off the curb onto the asphalt for a second, but hey. At least he hadn't fallen flat on his face.</p>
<p>"Of course we're going to party," Mike said, once Richie had hopped back up onto the sidewalk,  but Mike wasn't the one leading their group down the street.</p>
<p>As usual, they were following Bill. The unofficial leader of the group. Even though he constantly denied it, saying that there wasn't a leader of a friend group. Because of course only the leader would be selfless enough to say that.</p>
<p>"Well, where are we going to party then?" Eddie asked.</p>
<p>Mike shrugged.</p>
<p>"I don't know. Somewhere."</p>
<p>"Well, that's super helpful," Eddie said, while rolling his eyes, but then he smiled at Mike's glibness.</p>
<p>None of them could stay mad at Mike for long, even when he was teasing them. Honestly, if Richie wasn't head over heels for Eddie, he'd probably have a crush on Mike. Actually, he <i>totally</i> had a crush on Mike. You could have a crush on one person while being in love with another, right? That was a thing.</p>
<p>"We can go to the park," Bev suggested, chiming in after having been silent for the last couple of blocks.</p>
<p>She had her phone in her hand, so Richie suspected that she'd been texting Ben as they wandered the streets of Derry. She hadn't exactly mentioned it, but Richie knew a thing or two about pining, so he was pretty sure he could sniff it out in others. She had it bad for Ben and, honestly, Richie was hoping that it would work out between them. Plus, Ben was just super cool, and Richie wanted him to hang out with their group more often. Other than the times that they begged him for rides.</p>
<p>He wanted to schooch over and ask Bev for the inside scoop on the Ben sitch, but he unfortunately had to set her straight instead.</p>
<p>"No, we can't go to the park. Cops said they'd shoot us if we went back to the park."</p>
<p>"Yeah, and I'm not in the mood to die tonight," Mike said.</p>
<p>Richie and Bev laughed while Eddie started freaking out, as he was wont to do.</p>
<p>"I don't remember this. Did you guys go out without me? First of all, that's so rude, and I hate all of you." No one mentioned that Eddie was probably the rudest out of all of them, and going to the park while he was busy one night didn't even come close to matching said rudeness. "And second of all, this is why you guys need me to come along. You wouldn't have gotten into trouble with the cops if I had been there."</p>
<p>"How would you have gotten us out of trouble considering you're so short and adorable?" Richie asked, reaching down to pinch his cheek. "You definitely wouldn't have intimated them or anything."</p>
<p>"Shut up, Rich," Eddie mumbled, crossing his arms. "The point is, you guys would probably die without me."</p>
<p>"Well, hey, I like death," Richie said. Mike laughed, while Bev was busy looking down at her phone once more, and Eddie just glared daggers at him. "I like sex and death. How 'bout you Eddie? Do you like sex and death?"</p>
<p>"Yeah," Eddie said, and Richie was about to jump right on over the moon, but then he added, "So fuck off and die."</p>
<p>
  <i>Holy shit.</i>
</p>
<p>Richie couldn't even be mad that Eddie had just gotten off a good one at him because he was so impressed by the comeback itself. He was just about ready to get down on one knee and propose right there.</p>
<p>"Well, how about you Bill?" Richie asked, his voice maybe a little higher than it had been. "You've been awfully quiet. Do <i>you</i> want to party?"</p>
<p>"Well, I would love to guys, but I have to meet Stan after he gets off from work at his new job," Bill explained.</p>
<p>"Oh no, he got a job?" Mike asked, frowning exaggeratedly.</p>
<p>"Yeah, what a dick," Richie said.</p>
<p>"Stop it, guys. You're just mad that you all started following me without a plan. I never told you to do that."</p>
<p>"What else are we supposed to do?" Mike asked. "It's a holiday weekend and we're stuck in a bum fuck town where there's nothing to do even now."</p>
<p>"Yeah, like, not that I'd even want to go, but there isn't even going to be a lame fireworks display this year," Richie pointed out.</p>
<p>"The fireworks would be tomorrow night, dipshit," Eddie said, his hand angrily slicing through the air.</p>
<p>"And none of that is my problem," Bill interrupted. "My problem is that Stan started this job at the medical supply warehouse across town and he isn't entirely comfortable about it, so I promised that I'd meet him after his shift."</p>
<p>"Aw, you two are so sweet," Richie said, and then pretended to gag. "It makes me sick."</p>
<p>"Wait!" Eddie yelled, stopping abruptly, causing Bev to walk straight into his back. "Why don't we all go pick up Stan with Bill?"</p>
<p>Richie, Mike, and Bill didn't notice at first that they had lost two of their group until they realized that Eddie's voice was farther away than it should have been. They whirled around and rejoined them since it seemed Eddie had no intention of continuing with their somewhat leisurely stroll any longer. At least until they had figured out this party business. </p>
<p>And apparently picking up Stan was going to help with that?</p>
<p>"Yeah, why don't we all go pick up Stan? Stan always knows where there's a place to party."</p>
<p>Well, none of them could argue with that. For someone whose default setting was to be perpetually anxious and spent most of his time bird watching, Stan was abnormally up to date with the few cool things that went on in the small town of Derry. Probably because his unnerving stare could force anyone into telling him whatever it was that he wanted. But it was more likely that it was because he was the only one in their group of Losers with a partner (well, other than Bill, of course, since Bill was his boyfriend) and he needed ideas for date night. Since there was only so many times you could do dinner and a movie before you wanted to blow your brains out.</p>
<p>Yeah, now that Richie was thinking about it, the second one had to be the right answer. Other people probably could withstand that stare, unlike himself, who was kind of weak for all of his friends.</p>
<p>So the others didn't argue with Eddie, because he <i>was right</i>, but then Bill reminded them how far away the medical supply warehouse was and they all groaned. They had been walking around aimlessly for most of the day at that point, and it was nearly six in the evening. The last thing any of them wanted to do was make the trip to the other side of town when there was a possibility that Stan didn't know somewhere to go party. They could save that time and avoid the blisters by finding some alley, or somewhere similar, where they could have a few beers.</p>
<p>And that's when beautiful, wonderful, intelligent Bev said, "We could call Ben for a ride. He's just hanging out at his house right now."</p>
<p>"Oh, beautiful, wonderful, intelligent Bev," Richie said, reaching over to grab her face between his hands and place a sloppy kiss on her cheek. "You always have the best ideas."</p>
<p>"What about my ideas?" Eddie demanded. "We couldn't need Bev's idea if it weren't for my idea."</p>
<p>"Oh, so sorry, sweetheart. Your idea was crucial as well. My apologies."</p>
<p>Neither Richie nor Eddie noticed that the rest of the Losers were rolling their eyes at them as they went back and forth for a minute.</p>
<p>"If Ben doesn't mind giving us a ride, that'd be great," Mike said, cutting off Eddie's, quite scathing most likely, retort. "And obviously he's welcome to come party with us in exchange."</p>
<p>So Bev called Ben who naturally agreed to give them a lift, so they sat on the curb while they waited for their knight in shining armor to arrive in his chariot.</p>
<p>Except it was more like their knight in a One Direction shirt in a beat up convertible that his parents had 'saved' for him once he started college. (And by saved, it meant that they had drove it into the ground, bought a new car for themselves, and stuck it in a garage until they realized Ben needed some wheels to get to and from classes. Unless they wanted to chauffeur him around all the time.) Richie had gotten his fair share of rides from Ben since Bev had introduced him to the Losers, and in that time the convertible had stalled several times, he had to climb over  the back left side's door because it was stuck, and he was pretty sure that the top didn't work properly. So that showed how beat up the convertible was, but as a beggar, Richie couldn't exactly be a chooser. And it was clear that the other Losers agreed, considering that none of them even had cars they could borrow from their parents, let alone their own like Ben.</p>
<p>Ben pulled up at the curb, leaving enough space for them to open the doors.</p>
<p>Well, the ones that worked.</p>
<p>Bev jumped up faster than the rest of them, sliding into the front seat right next to Ben, leaving the actual passenger seat open for grabs. Which meant that Mike, the freakishly tall son of a bitch, got up and claimed it as Richie fumbled to stand up. That meant he was going to be suck in the back seat, pressed up against Eddie's side. Because Eddie <i>always</i> ended up sitting on the hump, despite Bill being technically smaller than him.</p>
<p>(Because none of them felt comfortable letting their leader take the bitch seat. That would just be wrong.)</p>
<p>That wasn't the point, though.</p>
<p>The point was, Richie was both overjoyed and pissed off, but definitely more pissed off. Because of course this meant that he got the perfect excuse to cuddle up next to Eddie, but then he had to pretend like it didn't affect him in any way what so ever, and that was incredibly difficult. And when it inevitably <i>affected</i> him, it would be really hard (pun fucking intended because that's who he was as a person) to hide that fact with the fitted plaid pants that were practically glued to him since he had picked them up from the local thrift store.</p>
<p>Richie groaned.</p>
<p>The ride to Stan's job was already going to be long, but now it was going to take an eternity.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>---------------------------------</p>
</div>The idea of stepping foot into the medical supply warehouse that loomed over Derry had terrified Stan for years -- long before his father had not so subtly suggested that he should apply for the job opening. His father was friends with the night manager, and that was how he had found out that they were looking for someone to unload inventory. He was able to push aside his uneasiness concerning the building, however, because his uneasiness of dealing with a customer service job was way worse. He knew that the not so subtle hints from his father were soon going to evolve into him submitting applications without Stan's permission, and next thing he'd know, he'd be stuck bagging cans of creamed corn at the grocery store down the street. He'd have to talk to people he didn't know for eight hours a day, all while touching their groceries that they had touched with their unwashed hands, and that was definitely not something he wanted.<p>And his father clearly knew this, but he was not going to budge on his stance that his son should have work experience at this point in his life. Stan's mother had managed to save him from having to get a summer job all through high school, and for that Stan was grateful, but the two of them could only prolong it for so long. And besides, it truly <i>was</i> time he get a job and have his own spending money. He could actually buy Bill something nice for once.</p>
<p>So, knowing that it was time to get a job, Stan decided he would much rather unload boxes in a scary warehouse than have to deal with the public.</p>
<p>That still hadn't prepared him for what the job would entail in the least.</p>
<p>First of all, he wasn't there alone, because of course he still had to go through training, so his father's friend was there showing him the ropes. Frank loved the sound of his own voice it seemed, so it was easy enough for Stan to simply follow behind him and just mumble in the affirmatives each time Frank asked if he understood. He knew that he should probably be paying attention, but how hard could it be to place the product into a shipping crate? Even if the product was... was a... a <i>skeleton</i>.</p>
<p>Thankfully, even Frank couldn't drag Stan's training out for the entire shift, and soon enough they had retired to the office where he showed Stan how to file some paperwork. For the past hour, they had been sitting in silence, while Frank's pen flew across paper after paper before he pushed it across the desks to Stan so he could put it in its proper place in the filing cabinet. Now <i>this</i> was what Stan had expected.</p>
<p>Nice and quiet and almost mind numbing work. He could get used to it.</p>
<p>And then...</p>
<p>...Frank had to go and ruin it all.</p>
<p>"Hey, did you want to see something really weird?" he asked.</p>
<p>'Not really,' Stan thought, but he didn't want to offend Frank and get fired on his first day.</p>
<p>"Maybe on the way out? I don't want to disrupt the work flow."</p>
<p>"Wow. You really are Don's son, aren't you? Look, this paperwork isn't going anywhere. It'll only take a minute. It's these canisters down in the basement."</p>
<p>That sounded like a way to get killed. It was exactly the last thing Stan would ever want to do, but he ground his teeth and tried to control his breathing, so he didn't let it show how freaked out it made him.</p>
<p>"Oh, uh, well if it's just down in the basement..."</p>
<p>Frank looked ecstatic as he practically skipped to a rickety door that squeaked as he opened it, and Stan was already regretting everything he had ever done in his life that led him to this point. The door was scary, the stairs that led down in the basement were scary, and the basement itself was so scary that Stan was seconds away from running back upstairs and right out of the building and never returning.</p>
<p>And then Frank led him over to a half a dozen canisters that literally had printed instructions on the side to call the army in the case of the canisters going missing. And instead they just kept them in the basement.</p>
<p>
  <i>Holy shit.</i>
</p>
<p>"Oh, I really don't think I need to get any closer," Stan said, backing up toward the stairs.</p>
<p>"Well, you're going to have to get closer if you want to see the bodies," Frank said calmly, as if he hadn't just admitted there were <i>actual human bodies</i> inside of the canisters. "See, if you lift up the lid, there's a glass window so you can see inside. You want to know how they ended up with us?"</p>
<p>Stan had to raise his voice in order to respond, since he was already halfway to the door.</p>
<p>"I was trying to be polite because I need this job, but absolutely not sir."</p>
<p>As Stan was running back to the office, he could hear Frank yelling after him, "What? Are you afraid? There's nothing to be afraid of. "These here were made by the U.S. Army. They're as solid as can..."</p>
<p>There was a clang and Frank started coughing loudly and Stan <i>really</i> started panicking. He slammed the office door behind him and collapsed into the desk chair. His hands were shaking as he picked up the phone and dialed 911.</p>
<p>"911. What's your emergency?" the operated asked.</p>
<p>"Yes, I'm at the medical supply warehouse down by..." Stan said, and then the line went dead. He looked up to see Frank standing in the doorway, the line to the phone in one hand while the other held a handkerchief to his mouth. "What are you doing?"</p>
<p>"What am <i>I</i> doing?" he yelled, but it caused another coughing fit. He hacked into the handkerchief, and Stan was worried he was going to pull it away and it would be covered in blood. Thankfully it was still white. "What are <i>you</i> doing? You can't call the cops. This could ruin the business."</p>
<p>"I wasn't calling the cops. How did you know I was calling the cops? Never mind. Of course I was calling the cops! You're hiding canisters from the army in your basement! And one of them just erupted or something and you're coughing. Like, I should be calling an ambulance as well. Why are you freaking out more?"</p>
<p>"Because I feel fine," Frank insisted, but it wasn't entirely convincing considering the word fine was lost in yet another coughing fit. "So I breathed in dust that came from the canisters. We don't need the cops or an ambulance. What we need to do is call the boss. He'll know what to do."</p>
<p>'Or we could call the number that was on the side of the canisters,' Stan thought, but obviously that would spell doom for the man who cared more about his job than his own health.</p>
<p>And that's when it dawned on him that he had already been heading in that direction, trying to shard to not offend Frank, when he knew that he should have said 'fuck no' when he asked if he wanted to see something creepy in the creepy fucking basement.</p>
<p>Shaking his head, Stan stood up and walked toward the door. Frank's conversation barely lasted a second once he had stuck the phone line back into the wall, and so before Stan could leave the office, a hand grabbing his arm stopped him dead in his tracks.</p>
<p>"You can't leave," Frank said. "Not just because you're still on the clock, but you were present for the accident. The boss is going to want to talk to you."</p>
<p>"Well, you can consider me off the clock because I quit," Stan said. He tried to sound authoritative, but he could tell that his voice was wavering. "And I wasn't present for the accident. I was already back upstairs. I saw nothing. I barely heard anything. You don't have to worry about me telling anyone, because I cannot in good conscious even say what exactly happened. So how about you just let me go?"</p>
<p>"Hey, it's just for the paperwork, right?" Frank said, and for a moment, Stan wasn't afraid.</p>
<p>Frank just wanted to do his job. Even if it was with a cult like obsession. Stan could respect that.</p>
<p>But then, once Stan had backed up, Frank locked the office door, and he knew that he was in trouble.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <i>"Well, shit Bill," Richie said with a groan. "I'm not going to sit here in the hot car for nearly two hours, with the sun shining right in my eyes."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The others mumbled in agreement.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"We could drive around," Mike suggested. "At least then we'll have a bit of a breeze to keep cool."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>But Ben shook his head solemnly.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"I don't have too much gas left. Probably enough to get us to where we're going next and then home, and the library won't pay me until Tuesday because of the holiday."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Everybody groaned at that.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"Well, how about over there? Across the street?" Bev asked, and everybody's heads turned comically fast to look over to where she was pointing.</i>
</p><p><i>'Across the street' was a cemetery. A fucking </i>cemetery.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this story has a playlist! and now it's relevant so <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5Xgos4DDApWuM8LyhSstfB?si=-XSQ1y3bRoCVxsIh5p5GBQ">here</a> you go! i may work on it some more but this part? it's important to have the tunes lol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So what time does Stan finish work?" Ben asked, pulling up outside of the warehouse.</p>
<p>Richie knew Stan had some hang ups about doctors and medicine and all that stuff, so considering the place was giving <i>him</i> the creeps, he wondered how Stan was dealing with it. And then, of course, he wondered how Eddie was dealing with it. Sure, he was at least safe in the car with them, but he also wasn't the biggest fan of anything related to the medical profession. Richie and Bill knew a little about it, having grown up with Eddie, but he and Stan definitely confided in each other since they knew where the other was coming from.</p>
<p>"He's scheduled until eight," Bill said, breaking Richie's rambling rain of though. </p>
<p>He stuck his neck out and smiled at Ben in the rear view mirror as if he hadn't just dropped the little fact on them that it wasn't even close to Stan's quitting time.</p>
<p>"Well, shit Bill," Richie said with a groan. "I'm not going to sit here in the hot car for nearly two hours, with the sun shining right in my eyes."</p>
<p>The others mumbled in agreement.</p>
<p>"We could drive around," Mike suggested. "At least then we'll have a bit of a breeze to keep cool."</p>
<p>But Ben shook his head solemnly.</p>
<p>"I don't have too much gas left. Probably enough to get us to where we're going next and then home, and the library won't pay me until Tuesday because of the holiday."</p>
<p>Everybody groaned at that.</p>
<p>"Well, how about over there? Across the street?" Bev asked, and everybody's heads turned comically fast to look over to where she was pointing.</p>
<p>'Across the street' was a cemetery. A fucking <i>cemetery</i>.</p>
<p>Not like they could complain. They had done their fair share of partying in weird places. Although a cemetery was certainly new.</p>
<p>But it <i>was</i> right across the street, so they could text Stan to walk over and meet them there, and that was both of their problems solved. A way to pass the time until Stan was done with work <i>and finally</i> a place to party. And if it turned out that Stan knew of something cooler going on, they could all pile back into Ben's car and be on their merry way.</p>
<p>"Yeah, sure," Bill said. "I may have jumped the gun getting here, but I did think that I'd be walking the rest of the way. But yeah, I have to admit that even I don't want to wait two hours for Stan with nothing to do."</p>
<p>Richie clutched his chest, hopefully where his heart was.</p>
<p>"Oh no, the romance is dying."</p>
<p>"Shut up, Trashmouth," Mike said, leaning over the seats to flick Richie's nose.</p>
<p>Of course, that meant he bumped into Bev and Eddie in the process who immediately started bitching. With a sigh, Ben backed up and pulled closer to the cemetery and ordered everyone to get out of his car. He popped open the trunk, rummaging around, before re-emerging triumphantly with a couple of road flares and a crowbar.</p>
<p>"What the hell do you need a crowbar for?" Eddie asked.</p>
<p>"Oh, my sweet, little, innocent Eds," Richie said, slinging his arm around Eddie's shoulders.</p>
<p>The other Losers laughed as Eddie protested the little part, and everyone had become so distracted that they missed that Ben had already pried the lock off of the gate and had wandered into the cemetery. It was the sound of the lock accidentally clanging against a head stone when Ben threw it off to the side that brought their attention to the fact that Ben had literally pried off the lock single handedly with the crowbar.</p>
<p>"Dude is bad ass," Richie whispered as he fell into line with Bev, the Losers following Ben in slack jawed awe. Only Richie's mouth was working normally, naturally, since it took a lot to get him to stop talking. He elbowed Bev in the side as he added, "I can see why you have a crush on him."</p>
<p>"It's because he's nice, actually," Bev said, not even bothering to try and deny it.</p>
<p>Richie scoffed.</p>
<p>"When have you cared about that? I mean, it's sweet, but since have you ever cared about that kind of stuff?"</p>
<p>"Since we're not getting any younger," Bev said, as if they were senior citizens and not college students. "I did enjoy our slutty years together, don't get me wrong."</p>
<p>"You make it sound as if <i>were</i> were the ones sleeping <i>together</i>."</p>
<p>Richie and Bev both wrinkled their noses at that thought.</p>
<p>Sure, they loved the hell out of each other, but Richie was as gay as the Macy's Day Parade and, well, Bev liked her men with a little more meat on their bones than a bean pole like Richie, anyway. Bev had obviously been referencing how they always shared stories of their sexcapades (Richie's word, not hers) and there were <i>a lot</i> between the two of them. They probably were the sluttiest of the group. Bill and Stan had got their shit together in the 11th grade, Eddie's mom had scared him out of dating for most of his life, and Mike?</p>
<p>Nah, Mike was hot. He was totally getting laid.</p>
<p> The point was...</p>
<p>"Ew. No. You're my best friend, but not in a million years," Bev said and then pinched Richie's arm, right where he realized his rainbow patch was sewn onto his jacket. "I'm just ready to have a real relationship, you know?"</p>
<p>"You're not ready to stop partying, though, are you?"</p>
<p>"Oh, you'd be so lucky to get rid of me that easy. Besides, seems like Ben likes partying, too. If anything does happen between us, you won't even get a chance to miss me, because we'll both be right here. Since he's fitting in with the boys so well."</p>
<p>Richie looked over to see said boys talking to Ben about his muscles, which honestly put his own gayness to shame. Bill was asking him how often he worked out while Mike was literally feeling up his bicep. Ben was blushing so intensely that Richie was sure he would be able to fry an egg on his face, and probably in an attempt to hide that fact more than anything, he quickly swept Eddie up and lifted him pretty damn high.</p>
<p>"That's how strong I am," he said, voice muffled from Eddie's shirt. "Does that help?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, Mike mumbled.</p>
<p>If he had been a cartoon character, Richie bet his money that his eyes would have turned into stars.</p>
<p>Eddie was giggling but still squirming as he begged Ben to put him down. It was so adorable it should have been illegal, and Richie felt as if he was going to have a heart attack.</p>
<p>At least the Losers could bury him where he stood and not feel all too guilty about it.</p>
<p>"Okay. Enough heart to heart," Richie said before raising his voice so the others could hear him as well, and added, "Let's get this party started!"</p>
<p>He raised up his boombox and hit play, Destroy Boy's Crybaby blasting from the tiny speakers. The Losers started cheering and Ben finally set Eddie back down on the ground, and before Richie knew it, everyone was dancing around the head stones. Bev not so sneakily used her moves to make her over so she was standing next to Ben. So, if she had been obvious, than Richie was about as subtle as a bull in a China shop when he two-stepped right into Eddie's face.</p>
<p>"I see you dancing there, Eds. Does this mean you like my taste in music after all?"</p>
<p>"No, your taste in music is still shit," Eddie replied, but he was smiling, and that was usually all Richie could ask for.</p>
<p>And then Ben set off one of the road flares, bright red fire framing Eddie's face beautifully, and Richie could have sworn he had been transported to a movie.</p>
<p>Or maybe taking that Mixed Media class for one of his electives was messing with his head.</p>
<p>Because there was no way his life could ever be like a movie. Sure, it could be worse. For instance, his parents were pretty cool, even if they didn't know exactly how to deal with a hyperactive kid. Okay, sure, he got bullied for being gay, but it was only Henry Bowers or his cronies. Once Richie shot up in the 9th grade, he usually could take them on about 50% of the time, which wasn't all too bad. He got good grades, he had <i>amazing</i> friends, and he occasionally found fun stuff to do in their bum fuck town (even if it was actually Stan who did the actual 'finding.')</p>
<p>But his best friend was never going to wake up one morning and realize that 'oh shit. I'm in love with Richie.'</p>
<p>Because Eddie was perfect where Richie was not, and he only deserved the best. How could someone as dirty and crass as Richie <i>not</i> fall in love with Eddie, even if they decidedly weren't the best?</p>
<p>He was only human.</p>
<p>So, he had resigned himself to a life of pining, but hearing Bev talk about wanting to settle down as much as a college kid could settle down had unfortunately put some notions into his head.</p>
<p>Like he deserved better than hooking up with 'down low straight' guys behind the student lounge dumpster, for starters. And 'better' was still a far cry from 'perfect' but why not Eddie? Richie didn't know what he would do without Eddie in his life, so the last thing he wanted was to ruin their friendship, but maybe they <i>could</i> make it work. And Richie would never know unless he asked.</p>
<p>It may have been the Fourth of July and not New Year's Eve, but who said that New Year's Eve was the only holiday that you could use as a starting point for a big life changes?</p>
<p>So as they danced there in the cemetery, Eddie having wrapped his arms around Richie's middle after he got tired of Richie's noodle arms flailing around with his moshing, Richie leaned in closer and whispered in Eddie's ear, "I love you."</p>
<p>Eddie leaned back, smiled up at him once more, and --</p>
<p>-- almost violently ruffled his hair.</p>
<p>"I love you too, man," he said, and Richie wanted to jump off the nearest mountain.</p>
<p>"Hey, I'm... I'm going to go get us some beers, okay? I'll be right back."</p>
<p>Because of course they had made Ben stop at the liquor store before going to pick up Stan. Richie had almost forgot he had some lukewarm PBR waiting for him, and he could certainly use some after being brutally murdered by five simple words.</p>
<p>"Ew. You know I hate beer," Eddie called after him.</p>
<p>Because Richie had already fled back to where the Losers had initially set up when they had crashed into the cemetery. He absently waved his hand behind him and hoped that it was enough to appease Eddie. As if he had planned to bring him a beer back, even if he did like it, because of course Richie knew that Eddie didn't like beer. He knew <i>everything</i> about him.</p>
<p>Mike was walking in a circle around the cases of beer, his own drink in one hand. He was brandishing a stick like a sword with the other, and Richie realized he looked like the party member who got stuck with the first watch as the others slept around the campfire. Not that he would say that out loud, despite the Losers knowing of his sordid history playing Dungeons and Dragons with his sister and their cousins when they were kids.</p>
<p>"Oh, sweet protector of the beer," he said in a posh accent as he clasped his hands together. Okay, so it turned out he couldn't pass up the opportunity. "If you would be so kind as to pass me one of the Ribbons of Pabst Blue?"</p>
<p>Mike laughed as he bent down and used his trusty stick to rip open Richie's beer and then tossed a can to him.</p>
<p>"You dick," Richie said, although there was no real heat behind it, because dirty and crass, remember?</p>
<p>He didn't care if he got beer down his front, as long as most of it made it into his mouth. Without blinking, he popped the tab, and watched as the beer went spraying everywhere, Mike in the background laughing even harder. He chugged what was left once the foam went down and then demanded a second.</p>
<p>"Your arms aren't broken," Mike said.</p>
<p>Richie looked up to see that in the minute it had taken him to cause a mess and start working on his buzz, Mike had wandered off a bit and was leaning up against a tree. Looked like he was done protecting the beer's honor now that Richie had defiled it.</p>
<p>(Also, side note, but damn. He looked so cool and casual.)</p>
<p>"Fair enough," Richie said with a shrug and walked over so he could grab his own beer.</p>
<p>"So," Mike said, drawing the word out as Richie started draining the can. "Struck out with Eddie?"</p>
<p>It wasn't the first time Richie had beer spurt out of his nose, but he knew he was never going to get used to how incredibly <i>fucking</i> painful it was.</p>
<p>"What?" he asked, voice going high. He huffed, crossed his arms, and blew a raspberry at Mike. "I don't know what you're talking about."</p>
<p>"Of course you don't," Mike said, smiling smugly up at him. "I'm good at reading people, you know."</p>
<p>"You're good at everything. It's honestly not fair."</p>
<p>"I'm good at making out, too, if you wanted to take your mind off of things."</p>
<p>Richie's eyebrows shot up into his hairline.</p>
<p>Well, if that wasn't a tempting offer.</p>
<p>He quickly drained the last of his beer, grabbed Mike's hand, and hauled him off behind one of the mausoleums.</p>
<p>He could stop being a slut on Arbor Day, or whatever the next dumb, meaningless holiday was.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>---------------------------------</p>
</div>Stan had anticipated that 'the boss' would look more intimidating, but he looked like every other middle aged white dude that he could think of. His name was Burt, for goodness sake. The guy did, however, immediately corner poor Frank and berated him for being so stupid. Which, he totally deserved. There was no questioning that, but Stan did feel a <i>little</i> bit sorry for him.<p>Being yelled at was never fun, after all. He knew that first hand.</p>
<p>(Though, thankfully, his father wasn't <i>always</i> yelling. Stan did believe that his father genuinely just wanted what was best for him.)</p>
<p>But then Burt's yelling was drowned out by yelling that came from outside of the office, and Stan decided that, no. He didn't feel sorry for Frank. In fact, he hated him. Like, what the hell had he gotten Stan wrapped up in?</p>
<p>"What was that?" Burt asked.</p>
<p>"I don't know," Frank said, voice shaking. "We're the only ones in the building..."</p>
<p>Burt turned to Stan, first time he acknowledge that he was there in the room, and Stan simply shrugged.</p>
<p>"Well, you two are going to go and find out what it is," Burt said as Frank muttered, "...no one else in the building except... except the corpse in the fridge."</p>
<p>Both Stan and Burt stared at Frank as if he had well and truly lost his marbles.</p>
<p>"You possibly can't be suggesting," Burt started, but he couldn't bring himself to finish that sentence.</p>
<p>"Well, that's the story about the bodies in the canisters, right? That they came back to life after being infected with that toxin thing."</p>
<p>Stan scoffed.</p>
<p>"Zombies?" he asked. It was the first thing he had said since Frank had trapped him in the office, but his instinctual self preservation only went so far. "Is this some elaborate ruse? To initiate the new kid? Because that's the only explanation I can come up with that makes any sense."</p>
<p>"Well, I was going to have Frank be the one on guard while you opened the door, but I think I changed my mind." Burt clapped him on the shoulder. "You ready to earn your paycheck?"</p>
<p>"I mean, you're paying me for this shift either way. You know, up until the point where I quit when this asshole here," Stan said, pointing aggressively at Frank. "He held me against my will. Which is way more illegal than not paying me for this shift, but now I'm madder about the possibly not paying me part. So, thanks, but no thanks. The big boss is here now, and I'm leaving."</p>
<p>Stan started to stand up, but Burt's hand practically smacked into his chest and he pushed him back into the chair.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry son, but I can't let you leave. You're part of this now. I completely understand you not wanting to work with us, and after this is all solved, you're obviously free to go. I'll pay you for the shift and we'll never speak of this again. But for now, you're part of the problem, and you have to man up and solve it."</p>
<p>"Part of the problem?" Stan asked, feeling as if he was about to burst into hysterical laughter. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He started pointing at Frank once more. "<i>He</i> was the asshole who did whatever it was to the canister! I didn't even see if he broke it or knocked it or whatever. I was already up and out of the basement because I told him I didn't need to see that shit! How is that being 'part of the problem' in any world?"</p>
<p>"Hey, well, if you didn't see anything, that's great. We'll take care of this, and you can leave. That's a deal. We just really need someone young who can move fast right now. We don't know what we're up against, now do we?"</p>
<p>Stan hung his head and pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes. It was clear that he was going to be able to talk himself out of this and he couldn't run past both Burt and Frank, even if Frank was still coughing occasionally and looking slightly feverish, if Stan was being honest. He knew that trying to convince them that just because he was young that didn't mean that he was fast was futile. Besides, he probably was faster than either of them on any other day, but currently they all had adrenaline coursing through them, and as he said, he doubted he could run past both of them. No, his safest bet at the moment was to go along with them, and hope that when he didn't meet Bill outside at quitting time, his ridiculously caring boyfriend would come looking for him.</p>
<p>"Alright. Fine. Let's get this other with," he said, holding his hand out.</p>
<p>"What? You want help getting up?"</p>
<p>"No, I want a weapon. If I'm supposed to be standing guard and Frank is convinced there's a fucking zombie in that freezer, I want a weapon obviously."</p>
<p>Burt smiled and turned to Frank, asking him for the baseball bat kept under the desk. If Stan hadn't wanted to quit after everything that had happened so far, knowing that not only was there someone somewhere desperate enough to break into a medical supply warehouse, but that it was a common enough occurrence for said medical supply warehouse to keep a baseball bat under  the office desk would have been the final straw.</p>
<p>He sighed as he took the baseball bat from Frank, and the three of them made their way to the freezer. As they got closer, it was clear the screaming was coming from inside. It was so loud there would be no mistaking the source, but the door was shaking and rattling as if someone, or <i>something</i>, was banging against it as well.</p>
<p>Stan could see even Burt hesitate, despite being the only one not about to put himself right into the line of fire. He gulped before finally giving Frank the go to, and Frank cautiously leaned in so he could undo the multiple locks on the freezer door. Not even a second had passed before the door burst open and a naked man was running straight for Stan.</p>
<p>Now, normally, that would be a good thing in Stan's book, and he actually laughed a little at the thought as the naked man knocked him to the ground.</p>
<p>Oh, yeah, no. That was definitely him finally going hysterical, wasn't it? He cursed himself as the baseball bat dropped to the ground with a loud clank, but at least that meant he had both hands free to hold the man back as he attempted to go for his throat. It was almost more like he was following animal instincts and going in for the kill rather than attacking how even a crazed person would. Stan had been expecting to block punches. Something he was all too familiar with considering how often he and his friends had been bullied growing up, but no. Instead he was pushing against the man's shoulders so he was unable to tear out Stan's throat.</p>
<p>Distantly, he could hear Burt and Frank freaking out in the background, but he couldn't even think of shouting at them to fucking do something.</p>
<p>And then, suddenly, the man sagged against him as a loud whirring overtook the room. As he wiggled out from underneath the dead weight, he saw that Burt had taken a surgical saw to the man's back and it was dangerously close to popping out through his chest.</p>
<p>"You could have killed me too!" he shouted as he continued to crawl as far away from the naked man as he could.</p>
<p>"You're welcome," Burt muttered.</p>
<p>He was about to turn the saw off when the naked man jumped back up again as if he had never been injured. Stan started screaming as he ran for him once more, but then something took over him, and he launched himself at the abandoned baseball bat. He grabbed it and used it to knock the naked man down. He landed on his back this time, and it was easy enough for Burt to come in and saw the man's head off.</p>
<p>"That's how it is in zombie movies, right?" he asked. "Destroy the head in some way?"</p>
<p>"I mean, I think zombie or even just a guy with super human strength, decapitating him should have done the trick," Stan muttered.</p>
<p>That being said, it did nothing to ease his fear, and he held the baseball bat even tighter. He wasn't about to be caught off guard in case the naked man tried to attack him again. All three of them were watching the body on the ground, waiting for another attack, so Stan didn't feel so paranoid.</p>
<p>And it didn't take long for the head to open its eyes. It watched as its body pushed itself up, granted  slower than the last time, and started wandering around the room aimlessly.</p>
<p>Frank started crying, repeating 'What are we going to do?' frantically as Stan started crawling toward the exit. Burt was yelling at them to both calm down, but he clearly wasn't following his own advice, backing up into the office as the headless body kept reaching out randomly and getting scarily close to grabbing the front of Burt's shirt.</p>
<p>"Calm down? How are we going to calm down when there's no way to stop it?" Stan demanded.</p>
<p>"There <i>has</i> to be some way to stop it," Burt said. "Maybe we can melt down the body with acid."</p>
<p>"Acid will still leave the bones," Frank pointed out.</p>
<p>"Then we can burn it!" Burt said. "We can... we can... hold on."</p>
<p>He cautiously made his way around the stumbling body and threw himself against the window. He used the sleeve of his windbreaker to brush some dust away and peered out of the little circle he had cleaned. He smiled as he turned back around and happily said, "The light is on! Ernie is in!"</p>
<p>"Oh that's great," Stan mumbled. "Who's Ernie?"</p>
<p>"He works in the mortuary across the street. We can just take the body on over there and he can burn it in the crematorium."</p>
<p>"Oh my God. This is getting out of hand. I'm... I'm not going to help with that."</p>
<p>"Do we really have a choice?" Frank asked, sounding defeated.</p>
<p>Did they really?</p>
<p>Stan, usually the only one in his group of friends who ever had a plan, had no idea what to do. They had <i>sawed the guy's head off</i>, so he clearly wasn't alive. It was hard to believe, but the headless body still stumbling around the room, trying to capture one of them, was definitely not alive. They couldn't allow it to stumble around forever, and it was definitely not alive, so it wasn't wrong to burn the body, was it? They had to get rid of it somehow because otherwise it would hurt someone, and it might not be one of them.</p>
<p>What if Bill showed up and that <i>thing</i> was still intent on attacking, and it went after Bill? Stan wouldn't be able to live with himself if Bill got hurt because of Frank's stupid mistake the he apparently was now responsible for fixing.</p>
<p>"Okay, so we're going to take it to the crematorium. How exactly are we going to do that?"</p>
<p>Stan motioned to the body as it tripped over some of the boxes of packing peanuts that were scattered around the warehouse. Burt simply held up the surgical saw that he was still holding.</p>
<p>Yeah, that was unfortunately what Stan had been dreading. They did have to discuss their actual plan of attack in more detail, but they easily all agreed the best way to approach things, and so Stan and Frank reluctantly cornered the body and grabbed onto one arm each. They held it as still as they could as Burt sawed through each arm, the dismembered limbs wriggling even more as Stan and Frank dragged them over to an empty box and dumped them inside.</p>
<p>Next were the legs and then the torso in three separate parts. Last was the head, which none of them were eager about picking up. Stan eventually emptied some of the packing peanuts on top of the head while it had its mouth open, effectively preventing it from biting them, and then that was shoved on top of everything else before Burt slammed the lid of the box shut.</p>
<p>"Do you guys have a forklift or something?" Stan asked, leaning against the wall as he caught his breath. "To move it over to the mortuary?"</p>
<p>Frank and Burt shared a concerned look before Frank shrugged, sending him into yet another coughing fit.</p>
<p>Damn, Stan was going to have to hang around even longer, because after they moved the body, he couldn't leave without making sure Frank was alright. He wasn't looking so hot, and Stan was majorly regretting not putting up more of a fight about calling an ambulance.</p>
<p>Cracking his knuckles, he said, "Alright. No forklift. Let's get this over with then."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><i>It had reached a point where Stan was glad that this whole fuck up had happened. It would have majorly sucked to make it a couple weeks, maybe even a month, into the job and </i>then<i> find out how incompetent his coworker and boss were.</i></p>
<p>[...] <i>Burt had first tried to convince Ernie that the warehouse had been sent rabid weasels by mistake. Which was an incredibly strange excuse even if they carried weasels, but Stan had just gone through the most extensive first day orientation you could possibly imagine, and they did not provide the service of 'live weasels.'</i></p>
<p>[...]</p>
<p>
  <i>Why Burt hadn't told Ernie outright what was going on, considering he had the evidence on hand and wouldn't have to worry about proving it, was beyond Stan. Burt claimed that he and Ernie had been friends for years.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Well, Stan had known the Losers for years, and he trusted them with his life. Must suck to be Burt and not trust your so-called close friends.</i>
</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If only Mike had been exaggerating when he told Richie he was good at making out, but the asshole hadn't been. 'Good' didn't even begin to cover it. Richie's lips were still tingling as they stumbled back toward the music. Richie could just make out Stefan Babcock wailing, 'I'm at the end of my tether. You're under my skin, and I'm letting it fester' and he maybe felt a little guilty about making out with Mike when he was in love with Eddie. But it wasn't like they were together or anything. Eddie had made it clear that he only saw Richie as a friend, so there was literally no reason why Richie <i>shouldn't</i> make out with Mike. In fact, he definitely planned on doing it again, because, <i>holy shit</i>.</p><p>Did he mention Mike was fucking awesome at making out?</p><p>Mike swooped in on the beers, stealing one of Richie's, but Richie allowed it since he handed another to Richie as well before leaving with a quick kiss to his cheek.</p><p>Bev seemed to be the only one who noticed that, which Richie was thankful for. He was really only taken aback because he had figured that she'd be unable to take her eyes off of Ben.</p><p>Granted, the two of them were cuddled up all cozy like on one of  the larger head stones, but it appeared that he and Mike were the only of the Losers that had been locking lips. Shame, honestly.</p><p>Anyway, she gave Richie a concerned look and he shrugged as if to say 'what can you do?'</p><p>Well, good to know that she had some ulterior motives to dropping on him that she wanted to stop sleeping around so much. It had seemed to come out of nowhere, even if Richie ribbing her about liking Ben. Normally she had no trouble coming out and saying exactly what she meant, so now Richie was worried that maybe there <i>was</i> something wrong with his crush on Eddie, and Bev hadn't been sure how to go about telling him that.</p><p>There was no time to dwell on all of that, though. Something a little harder came up next on the mix  past Richie had slipped into his boombox that morning. It was tipsy Richie's time to shine. A few sips to finish his beer and then he was throwing the can over his shoulder as he ran over to grab Bill and start dancing with him. </p><p>Bill had been doing but staring at his watch, as if that would make Stan's shift end faster, and they couldn't be having that. Their fearless leader needed to have some fun as well. He protested at first, as Richie spun him around and around, but eventually he loosened up once Richie had switched to something a little more like an actual dance and a lot less like he was trying to make Bill nauseous.</p><p>"My watch isn't working," Bill shouted over the music at one point, although now that he was having fun, he didn't exactly seem like he was that upset about it.</p><p>Just simply informing Richie.</p><p>"Oh, well, we can't have that, now can we?" Richie said, spinning them toward Eddie. His calculator watch was always correct down to the exact second. He'd be able to save the day. "Hey, Eds, what time is it?"</p><p>Eddie's head snapped up and he glared at them. He had been staring out over the cemetery and seemed surprised that Richie had dared to say something to him after ditching him earlier.</p><p>"Uh, I actually don't know. My watch isn't working," he said. Richie and Bill shared a concerned look. "Hey, since you're here, does that look like Stan over there? Walking toward the church?"</p><p>Richie looked over, and sure enough, there was a church there that he hadn't noticed, but he had been kind of busy, you know. It made sense to have a church by a cemetery, though. Or vice versa. There <i>were</i> several men carrying a large box toward the church, but it was far too dark to make out any distinct features. Sure, if he squinted, he would say one of them looked like maybe a little bit like Stan, but...</p><p>"Why would Stan be going into a church?" he poised.</p><p>"Well, it's obviously not for service considering it's the middle of the night, if you're insinuating it's not him because he'd have no reason to go into a church," Eddie said in a huff. "And they're moving something. So it could possibly be for work."</p><p>"What could a medical supply place have that a church needs?"</p><p>"I don't know," Eddie shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. "I just said it looked like Stan. You don't have to jump down my throat."</p><p>He marched off past them, and Richie had never been so confused. Sure, Eddie was a spitfire, and he could get angry pretty quickly, but that had well and truly came from out of nowhere. Richie may have contradicted him, but he was honestly asking legitimate questions, and not to contradict for contradicting's sake. Normally Eddie wouldn't go off on him like that unless he was <i>actually</i> an asshole. </p><p>And Richie wasn't! He was dancing with one of his best friends, having a genuinely good time, and trying to ease Eddie's nerves. Go, he was so confused.</p><p>He needed another beer.</p><p>"Thanks for the dance, Bill, but it's time to top off my drink," he said, wiggling an invisible glass. "Did you want one?"</p><p>"That's alright. I'm going to wait until Stan joins us."</p><p>"Suit yourself. But it's his fault for getting a job, not your's."</p><p>Richie headed once more over to the pile of beer, which was starting to feel a little repetitive, so he decided to plop down on the ground next to his case of PBR and he was going to stay there for awhile. He cracked open two cans and took turns drinking from each as he watched his friends. </p><p>It had been a roller coaster of a day. He had to admit he had been almost as worried as Eddie that they wouldn't find anything to do that evening, so he had been super excited when they found the abandoned cemetery. But what had started out as a pretty great night, had unfortunately turned into a melancholy gathering. Bev and Ben at least still seemed to be enjoying themselves, but Eddie still hadn't calmed down and returned, Mike was laying on top of a grave as he ripped the label off of the bottle he was holding, and Bill was back to staring forlornly at the medical supply warehouse. And then to top it all off, as Richie looked up to the sky, it looked as if it was about to rain.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>---------------------------------</p>
</div>It had reached a point where Stan was glad that this whole fuck up had happened. It would have majorly sucked to make it a couple weeks, maybe even a month, into the job and <i>then</i> find out how incompetent his coworker and boss were.<p>He'd spare the details, but once the three of them had quite literally dropped the box onto the morgue's floor, Burt had first tried to convince Ernie that the warehouse had been sent rabid weasels by mistake. Which was an incredibly strange excuse even if they carried weasels, but Stan had just gone through the most extensive first day orientation you could possibly imagine, and they did not provide the service of 'live weasels.'</p><p>Anyway, Burt was trying to convince Ernie that's what was in the box and that they needed to burn them in order to put them out of their misery, and Frank collapsed onto the sofa that strangely enough was in the morgue next to the dissection table. Stan couldn't blame him if he was unable to physically stand Burt's bullshit.</p><p>(Except, that wasn't the reason that Frank was lying down. He was looking even worse for wear.)</p><p>Why Burt hadn't told Ernie outright what was going on, considering he had the evidence on hand and wouldn't have to worry about proving it, was beyond Stan. Burt claimed that he and Ernie had been friends for years.</p><p>Well, Stan had known the Losers for years, and he trusted them with his life. Must suck to be Burt and not trust your so-called close friends.</p><p>But eventually, after a peak into the box and one ripped pant leg (Ernie's) later, they were led to the crematorium and shoving the box into the fire.</p><p>"Oh, thank you so much Ernie," Burt said, pulling him into a hug. "I owe you big time buddy."</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, No problem," Ernie said, frozen stiff against Burt. "Now, will ya let go? We have to make sure everything burns up."</p><p>"Hey, you said it was <i>all</i> going to burn up. We can't have anything left, you hear?"</p><p>"Don't worry. It's going to be fine. It might just take awhile," Ernie said, picking up a metal rod and using it to prod at at the ash that once was the reanimated corpse.</p><p>Stan watched as the ash wafted up into the air, billowing into a cloud that hovered over the entire room before finally disappearing into the air vents. He quickly pulled his shirt up around his mouth and nose, hoping it was enough to stop him from breathing any of that shit in.</p><p>Because he had been awful feeling about the effect the toxin was  having on Frank.</p><p>He was coughing persistently now and his skin had gone sickly pale. He had started complaining about how cold he was, and Stan didn't have the heart to point out it was nearly 110 degrees in the crematorium.</p><p>"Now that that's all done, we have to call an ambulance," Stan said.</p><p>Burt had been doing a victory lap of sorts, pacing around the room, pumping his fist every once in awhile. He glared at Stan once he had interrupted what was clearly a well deserved self pat on the back, but Stan wasn't going to waver this time.</p><p>"Honestly, I'm surprised you haven't gone running for the hills," Burt admitted. "It's all done, so you can leave. A deal's a deal."</p><p>Stan sighed.</p><p>"I can't leave Frank. He's clearly very sick, and I'm the only one who's been with him since it started. I can answer any questions the paramedics have, so I'll wait until they arrive."</p><p>"Whoa, hold on just a second." Burt's hands shot up in a surrender position. "You can't tell anyone what happened."</p><p>"We can't leave him like this," Stan said, voice rising.</p><p>Although, he shouldn't have been surprised to meet resistance concerning Frank's condition. Of course Burt cared more about the company than Frank's well being. His employees had to have picked that up from somewhere.</p><p>Before he could give Burt a piece of his mind, and hopefully rip his head off for his fucked up capitalism worshiping ways, Ernie jumped between the two of them, the leg of his coveralls flapping.</p><p>"Hey, no need to argue. I'll call an ambulance and I'll tell them we aren't sure what poisoned him. They'll still be able to check Frank out and should be able to figure out what's wrong with him. That sound good to everyone?" Burt and Stan studied each other for a moment before both nodding. "Good. You two need to relax, you know? We're in the home stretch now. Everything's going to be fine, guys."</p><p>But Stan had a feeling that everything was <i>definitely</i> not fine as he watched some angry looking clouds rapidly approaching through the window.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>short chapter because the next bit coming up is one <i>looooong</i> scene i hadn't been planning to split this up but dumbly started posting so you get this short little thing then lol</p><p>also please notice the tags have updated because i changed my mind while editing there will be major character death in this if you want to jump ship now that'll show up next update (it isn't richie or eddie for the reddie people) but yeah i decided it <i>is</i> zombies after all</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><i>"Well, hopefully it </i>is<i> time [to pick up Stan] soon," Bev said as she glanced up. "Looks like it's about to rain."</i></p>
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  <i>No sooner than the words were past her lips, a lightning bolt shot through the sky, illuminating the cemetery, the shadows of the head stones falling across them. Mike whooped in the distance, but Richie almost hadn't heard him over the thunder rumbling. Oh yes. The storm was upon them. As the sky opened up, Standing in the Rain by Billy Talent started playing over Richie's boombox, and he would have laughed at the coincidence --</i>
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<p>
  <i>-- if he hadn't been too busy screaming.</i>
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  <i>The first few drops had felt refreshing in the summer heat, but then every bit of exposed skin that the rain pelted started to hurt.</i>
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          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is the chapter where the zombie violence amps up and where we see major character death so you're forewarned</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Please tell me it's time to pick up Stan," Richie whined as he threw himself across Bev and Ben's laps, nearly sending them flying off of the head stone.</p><p>"Keeping track of the time is Bill's job. It's his boyfriend, remember? Why are you asking me?" Bev asked, giving him a look that could kill for interrupting her and Ben's conversation.</p><p>Too bad that it didn't kill him, because Richie was wishing he <i>would</i> die at this point. Eddie was <i>still</i> moping, and no matter what Richie said, he couldn't cheer him up. Bill was firmly planted by a head stone where he had the best possible view of the warehouse and was staring forlornly. And Mike? Well Mike...</p><p>Richie may have already been regretting making out with a friend.</p><p>What if he or Mike made it awkward between them? What if it then changed the whole group dynamic?</p><p>See, this was why he had never told Eddie how he felt. It had been a blessing in disguise that he had misunderstood Richie's confession. Richie could go back to hiding his feelings and pretend that it had never happened.</p><p>Besides, as he watched Bill staring at the warehouse like a lost puppy, he had a feeling that even if by some miracle he got together with Eddie, he'd still be just as pathetic, so why did it matter anyway?</p><p>"I'm asking <i>you</i>," he said, poking Bev's side," because I think if I try to talk to Bill, I will catch the yearning."</p><p>Bev rolled her eyes as Ben chuckled. Which the vibrations from that tickled Richie, which had him giggling, and so he didn't sound as shocked when he managed to yell, "What? No!"</p><p>"Oh yes," Bev said gleefully. "Even Ben can see your universe sized crush on Eddie. Can't you Ben?"</p><p>Ben nodded solemnly.</p><p>"I hate all of you," Richie grumbled. "Is it time or not? Both Bill and Eddie's watches stopped, so no, I can't ask anyone else anyway."</p><p>"If you boys weren't so helpless with your phones. Always dropping and breaking them," Bev complained, but she pulled her's out of her bra, which Richie would never understand how that was comfortable let alone practical. He did know that Bev didn't do it to be, like, sexy or whatever. And yet he noticed that Ben was staring and possibly drooling a little bit. Straight guys really were a whole other species. Thanks to  his damn ADHD, though, he was just as distracted, and both he and Ben jumped slightly as Bev angrily tapped at her phone's screen. "Huh. That's weird."</p><p>"What's wrong?" Ben asked.</p><p>Bev held up her phone, showing the display which read 00:00.</p><p>"Did you accidentally set it to military time?"</p><p>"If she had, that means it'd be midnight, and I think Stan would have found us and bitched at us by now," Richie said.</p><p>It pained him to say that, too, since he would have loved Ben to be right and to have Stan berating him. It would have taken his mind off of things, that's for sure.</p><p>"Well, hopefully it <i>is</i> time soon," Bev said as she glanced up. "Looks like it's about to rain."</p><p>No sooner than the words were past her lips, a lightning bolt shot through the sky, illuminating the cemetery, the shadows of the head stones falling across them. Mike whooped in the distance, but Richie almost hadn't heard him over the thunder rumbling. Oh yes. The storm was upon them. As the sky opened up, Standing in the Rain by Billy Talent started playing over Richie's boombox, and he would have laughed at the coincidence --</p><p>-- if he hadn't been too busy screaming.</p><p>The first few drops had felt refreshing in the summer heat, but then every bit of exposed skin that the rain pelted started to hurt.</p><p>"What the fuck?" he screamed as he rubbed at his face, to no avail. "What <i>the</i> fuck? <i>What</i> the fuck? What the actual fuck?"</p><p>"Why does it burn?" Bev demanded.</p><p>"It must be acid rain," Ben shouted, and maybe it was due to a combination of being in pain himself and trying to be heard over the two of them still freaking out, but it also very well could have been because the rain was coming down so hard that it was deafening and he <i>was</i> relying some potentially super important information.</p><p>It truly did sound as if they were in the middle of a war zone, and it's why Richie hadn't realized that Mike was running toward them until he slid through the mud and stopped in front of the head stone they were on. He had taken off his denim vest and was holding it over his head, but it was obviously not doing much to deter the rain.</p><p>"Hey Ben," he said. "Come on. Get that car open and let's get the fuck out of here."</p><p>Well, he didn't have to tell them twice.</p><p>Richie rolled off of Bev and Ben and then held out his hands to help them down so they didn't fall into the mud. In the meantime, Mike had rounded up Bill and Eddie, who had taken refuge under a tree, and the six of them were off.</p><p>They made a straight beeline for the car. Well, except for a quick slide to the right on Richie's part, so he could grab his trusty boombox, which miraculously was still blasting music. But other than that, they wasted no time. Richie didn't even wait for Ben to unlock the car, launching himself over the door and into the backseat, dropping the boombox to the floor in his haste to reach behind so he could try and pull the roof into place.</p><p>He had managed to get it halfway by the time the rest of the Losers were in the car and settled. Well, as settled as one could be when you were still being pelted by acid rain. Richie tugged on the roof some more, but it wasn't easy going, so Mike reached up and helped him get it the rest of the way. </p><p>The damn thing wouldn't latch, however, so Mike was stuck holding it in place, but it was definitely better than nothing. They were finally no longer drowning, but considering his clothes were soaked through with the shit, Richie was still feeling incredibly uncomfortable. He would bet good money, if he had any, that everyone else was in the same boat.</p><p>Or, well, boat of a car.</p><p>"Guys, my mom is going to kill me," Eddie started to say, because it was second nature.</p><p>She had controlled his entire life, while Richie and the Losers did what they could for him, but they all knew that it wasn't going to get better until he managed to get out from under her thumb. Sure, Richie had been thinking of how her bullshit had messed up Eddie's dating life earlier, but that was barely a drop in the bucket compared to the trauma she had caused. It took the start of their first semester of college, and being introduced to all sorts of new people, for him to finally stand up to her.</p><p>And thankfully she couldn't hurt him anymore.</p><p>That didn't mean he was going to unlearn everything over night, though.</p><p>Things were already grim, as they all sat there on the verge of tears, so Richie's beer drunk brain quickly decided to make a joke to take Eddie's mind off of <i>all that</i>.</p><p>"Don't worry Eds," he said, leaning in to pinch Eddie's cheek. "Only we'll see the inevitable blisters, and we won't mind because you'll still be cute, cute, cute!"</p><p>"Shut the fuck up Richie."</p><p>Okay, yeah, he deserved that. But it hadn't been Eddie to say it, surprisingly.</p><p>It was Mike.</p><p>He was staring over his shoulder, giving Richie the weirdest look. Twisting around caused his grip on the car roof to falter a bit, and some rain water spilled in on him, Bev, and Ben who all started shouting as they got burned again.</p><p>"I can't take this," Bev said. "Ben, I know you don't have much gas left, but you have to get us out of here. Find somewhere where we can go inside and wait the storm out. A coffee shop, or something. I'll fill up your tank so we can come back for Stan later."</p><p>"If there's anything open this late on the Fourth of July," Eddie grumbled, and Richie bit his tongue to stop himself for pointing out it was the Friday before the holiday, as Eddie had earlier. "We're going to have to drive all the way to one of our places, and they're all so far away. We should just grab Stan and get the fuck out of here."</p><p>"We can't just barge into the warehouse and risk the job he just got," Ben said, and damn. Richie was ready to welcome Ben into the Losers club with open arms, but this wasn't the time for him to stick his nose in their business.</p><p>Even if he <i>was</i> the one with the car.</p><p>"Hey, maybe we should ask Bill what <i>he</i> thinks," Richie suggested, feeling incredibly smart despite the amount of alcohol in his system. "It <i>is</i> his beau we're waiting for, after all."</p><p>Everyone murmured in agreement and then turned to Bill to see what the faithful leader would say.</p><p>He nodded so fast, Richie thought his head was going to fall off like a broken bobble head.</p><p>"Yeah, no, I agree with Bev. I think that's the best idea. Even if it's close to eight, Stan will probably just wait out the storm inside as well. We'll just come back from him. He'll understand. Especially since he still thinks it's just me walking to meet up with him. He'd know even if it wasn't acid rain, I wouldn't just stand there, getting wet."</p><p>"You heard the man," Richie said, pounding on the back of Ben's seat with his fist. "Onward, Jeeves."</p><p>"Alright, alright," Ben said with a light chuckle. He still had his keys in his hand and went to start the car, but the engine simply spluttered. He tried a few more times to no avail, trying to hide his desperation, but unfortunately failing miserably. "Okay, now I know this car isn't in the best shape, but this has never happened before."</p><p>"Uh, I don't mean to pull a 'conspiracy theory' thing here," Richie said, immediately met with boos from the Losers, because they knew all too well Richie's slight obsession with weird conspiracy theories. "Come on, guys. I'm being serious. Everyone's watches just stopped? Bev's phone is showing the time as zero? The fucking <i>acid rain</i> out of nowhere? And now Ben's car won't start? I'm not saying it's a conspiracy, but it's also too many bad things in a row even for us to only be a coincidence."</p><p>"Guys, help. He's actually making a point somehow," Eddie said.</p><p>Richie punched his shoulder and Eddie cried out in pain, but no one seemed to be paying them any attention. When they weren't told to quit it, Richie turned to see what else could be more important, and saw that Bill and Mike had their ears pressed up against the windows almost comically.</p><p>"Do you guys hear that?" Mike asked.</p><p>"You mean Eddie acting like a big baby?" Richie retorted, only to get punched himself in retaliation. "Ow. Okay. We're even, Eds."</p><p>"Will you two shut up for once?" Bev asked. "I think I do hear something, Mike. It's... It's like a moaning sound."</p><p>"We already knew you had sex on the mind, Bev."</p><p>"Seriously, for the last time, shut up!" Mike shouted.</p><p>And then --</p><p>-- his door was yanked open, swinging helplessly in the wind.</p><p>"What the fuck?"</p><p>He fell back into Bev who, in turn, knocked into Ben, who fell against the steering wheel. The horn went off causing Richie, Eddie, and Bill to jump, their heads hitting the roof and causing more rain to drip into the car, and Richie finally let himself cry a little, hoping that it'd help ease the pain in some way.</p><p>As this was all happening, there didn't seem to be any movement outside, and Richie was pretty sure if it had been a person who opened the door, the horn would have surprised them as well, and he would have noticed some sort of movement outside.</p><p>No, the door had opened so forcefully, it had to have been the wind, right?</p><p>After the initial shock started to wear off, Mike went to grab the door handle so he could close it, wrapping his arm in his vest to try and avoid getting burned. He still moved slowly, because who would willingly stick their arm out into the rain after all the injuries they had substained? The wind was starting to blow into the car, and the Losers were still crying out as Mike continued to move far too cautiously.</p><p>When his arm finally shot out, Richie was about to thank the heavens, but then Mike started screaming.</p><p>'It's because of the rain,' Richie tried to convince himself, but it was hard to ignore that Mike would just go from zero to sixty.</p><p>Mike yelled out, "Someone's got my arm! I can't see anything, but there's someone holding onto me! Help me!"</p><p>Bev and Ben scrambled to grab Mike's shoulders and pull him back into the car, but whatever that was gripping him was so strong that they looked as if they weren't even trying. Richie, Eddie, and Bill flopped over the seats and grabbed on any part of Mike they could reach and added helped pull, and finally they managed to get him back into the car. With the roof no longer being held in place, it had been blown back, and Mike landed in a decent puddle on the seat, splashing the evil water into all of their eyes.</p><p>So they didn't think anything of it as Mike screamed, because they were <i>all</i> screaming in pain. It wasn't until Richie managed to slip his glasses off and wipe the water out of his eyes that he realized Mike was screaming for a completely different reason.</p><p>Holding onto his arm so tightly that the skin was bruising was a hand...</p><p>...and nothing else.</p><p>Well, maybe a little bit of wrist was still attached, but that was it. Pretty sure Richie would be justified in saying a severed hand was holding onto Mike, and he couldn't blame him for screaming so loudly.</p><p>He knew he should do something to help, but he completely froze.</p><p>Next to him, however, Eddie had noticed what was going on, and even with his eyes wide, he reached out and pried the hand off of Mike. It seemed his bravery ran out when the hand crawled up and over his shoulders, like a somehow eviler version of Thing from The Addams Family, but he had done enough to be a hero in Richie's book. It spurred him into action, and he grabbed the hand off of Eddie's back, rolled down the window, and tossed it out onto the ground.</p><p>"So, that was a thing that happened," Richie said and then he leaned over the window, not even caring anymore about the fucking rain, and threw up where the hand had landed.</p><p>"It's a thing that's <i>happening</i>," Mike said, pointing out into the storm.</p><p>The rain had eased up slightly, actually, and Richie could see the outline of the... the person? The <i>thing</i> the hand had been attached to. And another behind her. And another behind him.</p><p>"Oh my God, it's a zombie invasion!"</p><p>"Don't use that word!" Eddie scolded him.</p><p>Like it would magically make the decomposing bodies surrounding the car disappear.</p><p>Because despite that earthy smell that always came with a good rain, there was no mistaking the smell of the rotting flesh wafting through the air. And the mob were doing that signature shuffle, for goodness sake. Richie was once again regretting not splurging for the modern boombox so he would have the ability to hook up Bev's phone and queue up The Gonk.</p><p>Because he dealt with possible impending doom with humor.</p><p>The others had caught onto what was going on, and without hesitation, Ben floored it through the wall of zombies. He definitely sent a few of them flying, and Richie turned around and watched as they got up as if nothing had happened, and he was definitely starting to panic. There wasn't that much time to dwell on it as the car skidded to a halt in front of the warehouse.</p><p>"Let's get Stan and then get the fuck out of here!" Ben yelled.</p><p>Bill didn't need to be told twice. He launched himself from the car and ran into the building. Ben and Bev followed not too far behind. Richie, Mike, and Eddie however? Having a brush with the zombies under their belts, they moved a little more cautiously.</p><p>Of course that meant Richie felt like he was on fire by the time he got into the warehouse, but it was worth it to be safe.</p><p>He wrapped an arm around Mike and Eddie's waists and pulled them into his sides.</p><p>"Looks like we made it boys," he said, doing his best Rambo impersonation.</p><p>"I know I've said this before, Richie," Eddie said, starting out quiet and sane, but getting louder and quite frantic as he went on. "But I need you to know, this time I mean it when I say, now is the worst possible fucking time for your stupid voices."</p><p>"Sorry I'm trying to add some levity to this shit. I guess I'll go fuck myself."</p><p>"You two are worse than my grandparents," Mike muttered.</p><p>Before Richie or Eddie could ask what he meant, the other Losers joined them. Well, sans Stan. The three of them came from different rooms, searching for the elusive Stan it would seem. Big, fat tears were sliding down Bill's face and he was sniffling in a valiant attempt to keep it together.</p><p>See? Perfect leader material.</p><p>"We... we can't find Stan," he confirmed, voice breaking.</p><p>Eddie ran over to hug him, and jeez. Read the room, jealously. This wasn't the time to be wishing it was him that Eddie had his arms wrapped around.</p><p>"Did you check everywhere?" Mike asked and Bill nodded wordlessly. "The basement, too?"</p><p>"Th-there's a basement?"</p><p>"I would assume it's that creepy door right there," Bev said, pointing to a certainly creepy door, that was staunchly closed.</p><p>Unlike all the other doors that the three of them had thrown open in their haste to find their missing friend.</p><p>"See? I bet he's there," Ben said, patting Bill's shoulder as he passed by.</p><p>He opened the door, which creaked ominously, but Richie was not in the mood to split up the gang and get Daphine'd, so he followed as the Losers descended into the dimly lit room.</p><p>It <i>was</i> lit, though, so that was a good sign. Richie doubted they kept the light on all the time. Maybe Stan was down here, safe and sound, counting stock. Completely unaware of what was going on outside.</p><p>Richie kept telling himself that, even as it became obvious the basement was empty.</p><p>And it fucking stunk. What the hell was that?</p><p>"I'm sure he has to be around here," Ben started to say, turning to reassure a distraught Bill, but the words were caught off by a blood curdling scream as a hand shot out from behind a curtain and grabbed Ben by the neck.</p><p>He struggled to get free, causing the curtain to fall down and reveal his attacker to be the gooiest zombie Richie could imagine. It was a testament to nature that the thing was standing, and Richie wasn't surprised when the thing lurched forward more than stepped.</p><p>Bev was running around the room, yelling at them that she needed a weapon, but all Richie could see were some dusty tanks and a couple of old Nixon posters. And Richie didn't know what it was about the zombie, but he had a feeling that it hadn't been a liberal in life, and would be scared off by Tricky Dicky.</p><p>Mike and Bill were kicking uselessly at the zombie's legs, since despite looking as if it were going to topple over at any second, it appeared to be quite strong. Bev had given up her search for a weapon and was trying to pry the zombie's hands off of Ben's neck. Ben, trooper that he was, was trying to push the zombie away even though he was being choked out.</p><p>And Richie?</p><p>Back to being frozen, unfortunately.</p><p>At least Eddie was right there with him. Literally <i>right there</i>, squeezing Richie's arm nearly as tightly as the other zombie's hand had been gripping Mike.</p><p> Bev was yelling, "Let him go!" as her fingers kept slipping through the oozy flesh coating the zombie. And it dawned on Richie that there really was no way out of this sticky situation unless they blew its brains out.</p><p>From what little he had seen of the warehouse, Richie had a feeling the owners were the kind of paranoid patriots to have a gun in the office, so he conveyed his idea to the Losers before sprinting toward the stairs. This meant he was lucky enough to only hear the terrible crunching sound followed by the all too familiar sounds of his friends screaming. Someone, Eddie it turned out, ran straight into his back as he started yelling at him to, "Go! Don't look! Just go!"</p><p>Richie, sadly, had a habit of doing the opposite of whatever he was told, so he looked back.</p><p>And there was Ben, askew on the basement floor, as the zombie pulled out bits and pieces of his brain from a suspiciously bite sized hole in his head. It was eating everything slowly, as if savoring each bite, and Richie was surprised it wasn't making a show of licking its fingers while it was at it. Some of the blood, and most likely brain matter as well, dripped down onto Ben's shirt. It landed right on Zayn's face and strangely that was what startled Richie out of his stupor. There was no longer denying that was his friend down there.</p><p>"I think I'm going to be sick again," Richie muttered, but Eddie just shoved him some more, successfully sending him up a stair or two.</p><p>"You can be sick when we get the fuck out of here," he hissed. "The others are long gone, in case you hadn't noticed, and who knows how long the zombie will be distracted."</p><p>Oh shit. He was right. A quick glance around the basement proved him to be right; the other Losers had ditched them while Richie had his near out of body existence</p><p>Rightfully so, too.</p><p>So Richie could only wonder why Eddie had stayed behind to save his sorry ass.</p><p>The thought of being the cause of Eddie's possible demise was too much to bear, so Richie started running up the stairs, dragging Eddie behind him. He could feel the wood of each step groan under his weight, but they were old, and that's what old stairs did. He had faith that he and Eddie would make it to the top unscathed. And then they could get the fuck out of this fucking discount haunted house.</p><p>But then the breath was punched out of him when three stairs room the top, the wood collapsed underneath him like a cracker. He fell down on the basement floor, right in the zombie's line of sight. And it appeared he was finishing up his current snack.</p><p>If Richie's graceless fall hadn't gotten the zombie's attention, Eddie dropping down next to him certainly would have.</p><p>"Why would you do that?" Richie hissed. "You were home free."</p><p>"I couldn't leave you here, numb nuts."</p><p>Quiet wasn't in either of their vocabularies, and the zombie was very clearly aware of them after that little exchange. It looked up from Be...Be... the body, started straight at them, and groaned out, "Braaaaaaaaains."</p><p>"That's debatable," Eddie muttered.</p><p>God, if only he could realize he was Richie's soulmate in every sense of the word, Richie thought as he pulled Eddie into a closet, narrowly escaping the lurching zombie.</p>
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